Ready or Not 2: Here I Come

Ready or Not was a breath of fresh air. Samara Weaving was already cemented as our modern scream queen and it wrapped its story up with a perfectly tidy, blood soaked bow. So naturally, the Hollywood looked at this perfectly contained story and said, "Let us milk this for every single dime it has."

This sequel is suspect at best. But if we turn off our brains, swallow our cynicism, and consume, is it actually worth watching? Yeah sure.

It is clear from the jump we are getting the Terminator 2 treatment. The action and tension are artificially cranked up to eleven. We get a bloated cast stuffed with cameos designed to make you point at the screen. Look, there is David Cronenberg! Look, Sarah Michelle Gellar! Elijah Wood and some people from Lost are here too! To be fair, they're all pretty good in this.

The plot is vastly more convoluted than the original, but you have to admire how much ridiculous lore the writers managed to stretch out of a simple game of hide and seek. Grace (Weaving) is joined by her estranged sister, Faith (Kathryn Newton). Naming conventions don't really come into play here. They are being hunted by a handful of elite families looking to usurp power and finish a demonic ritual. We basically replay the events of the first movie, but this time with four teams. If Grace and Faith survive, they get the throne. If they lose, they die. The sisters working through their personal family drama while dodging crossbow bolts adds a neat multi layer of "man versus family" to the madness.

This is where the movie avoids being total trash. The kills and gore are brutal, and thankfully, mostly practical. The assaults are fairly clever, even if they lack any real artistic flair. There is zero stylistic risk taken here. The sound design is completely inoffensive. As for the acting, you can easily tell who was called in to do a quick favor. Absolutely nobody takes this script seriously. The characters are basically walking caricatures. The original film balanced genuine terror with dark comedy, but this sequel dives headfirst into pure, goofy camp. The middle of the film drags until Grace suddenly agrees to a "loophole wedding" to stop the bloodshed. She then manages to loophole the loophole to claim the throne herself. Sure. Why not. Weaving is charismatic as ever, so let's roll with it.

It all leads to an absolute orgy of destruction as the ring of rule goes up for grabs. Dawn breaks, and just like the first movie, the bad guys explode into piles of goo. The only ones left standing are the two sisters, a goat, and Elijah Wood. The sisters reconcile and walk away covered in viscera hand in hand.

Overall, Ready or Not 2 is not nearly as entertaining as the original. But I will give credit where credit is due. They squeezed a lot of juice out of this highly unnecessary turnip and kept it entertaining. If the Fast franchise is any indicator this won't be the last installment, so I'm ready for Ready or Not 3: In Space No One Can Hear You Scream.