Angels in the Outfield

I have an soft spot for this movie. Is it great? No. Is it kinda good? Yeah.

For anyone who grew up in the 90s, you probably owned this or one of Disney's other massive, puffy white VHS clamshell they loved to use. It was the one that didn't just stand out, but physically refused to fit on a standard media shelf.

Looking back t the movie, the sheer volume of talent crammed into this sports fantasy is insane. You have little Tommy Solomon, Roger Murtaugh, Doc Brown, and The Boss. The cast looks like the green room at an Oscar after-party: Adrien Brody, Matthew McConaughey, Dermot Mulroney, and the great Tony Longo. How could you not love it?

For a children's movie, Angels in the Outfield is surprisingly dark. It runs the absolute gamut of trauma: death, divorce, addiction, and the brutal reality of the foster care system. The whole movie is based on the premise that a deadbeat dad outright telling his son he doesn't want him anymore. When Roger's dad says they will be a family again when the Angels win the pennant, it is not a promise. It is a sarcastic, cruel way to permanently abandon his child. The movie has a grounded way of addressing these issues but giving it when the slightest thought makes you sad. Even George Knox's severe anger management problems are essentially resolved because he uses a desperate kid looking for a father figure as a makeshift therapist.

Side note, RIP to the wonderful Brenda Fricker, who brought so much warmth to her role as Maggie the foster mom.

It's funny to look back and wonder why so many 90s MLB franchises were perfectly okay with lending their likenesses to films dedicated to pointing out how historically terrible they were. Between this, Major League, and Rookie of the Year, teams like the Angels, Indians, and Cubs were all cool being laughingstocks.

When you actually stop and think about the theological implications of this movie, it raises some questions. The Angels of Heaven are apparently fine with child abandonment, terminal illness, and global suffering. They'll even intervene to cheat at professional sports. The more I hear about this God fella, the more questions I have. Oddly enough, it is impressive that a movie explicitly about angels contains absolutely zero religious preaching. Maybe Al should have made the no telling anyone about us rule abundantly clear before initiating the miracles, just to avoid that highly awkward, threatening lecture later on.

And then there is the sheer baseball insanity on the field. Balls traversing the entire infield, outfielders seemingly flying. Then, out of nowhere Knox (Glover) demands they play Mel (Danza) because he has an angel. His assistant points out that Mel sucks, his arm is dead, and he is not even on the active roster. Knox just tells him to do it, and the assistant agrees. What?! Speaking of Mel Clark, how about that casual drop at the end of the movie where Al essentially says you don't need to help him anymore because he is going to be dead in a few months. Jesus Christ, Disney.

Also, why did Roger physically have to be in the stadium for the Angels to win? His dad's promise was when the Angels win the pennant, not when they win the pennant and you are sitting in seat A26.

Despite McConaughey delivering arguably the worst line reading of his career, the movie works on some weird level. It captures that perfect Major League meets Mighty Ducks hybrid. Tony Longo sliding into the pitcher's mound is comedy gold, and the sheer volume of gum in David Bass's mouth is exactly what every kid in the 90s tried to do with Big League Chew. The A's inside-the-park home run scene was incredibly corny back then, and it looks even worse now, but it serves a vital structural purpose: it gives Knox the undisputed proof he needs to finally have a little bit of faith in Roger. Somehow all this stuff gels tighter to actually support the story while being really really lame.

The ending is pure 90s schlock. Every single 30-to-40-year-old watching this has absolutely done that arm-flapping Angel wave. And then sure, Knox could have just told J.P. he was adopting Roger AND him right away instead of consciously choosing to traumatize the poor foster kid by making him think he was being left behind, but hey, it makes for good cinema. All these actors should reunite for the reboot we know it's coming, Angels in the Infield. Wait what? That already happened with a totally different cast?! Maybe they'll Halloween it and pretend that just never existed. Hey, it could happen.